Cooler Confessional

So rather than acting like a poser philosopher last night, I decided to turn down the classic rock and listen to what people actually say as they remove dairy products from the cooler. 

You wouldn't believe some of the things people mutter.

First, there's the scrutinizer; the one who stands in the door for at least 90 seconds considering all of the different orange juices known to man that the store carries

Then there's the speed racers; generally the middle-aged moms that have two or three kids in tow and are determined to finish their entire grocery list in under fifteen minutes.  Sometimes they make the rakes shake as they rip the product down.  Go Jeff Go

Finally there's the definitely not in the store but in the store shopper.  This individual is clearly thinking of something else that's happening in his/her life and so they take the opportunity to speak with themselves.  "we're totally gonna get through this"

This also provides ample time to be up to no good.  For example, grab product before someone's about to take it, sing the next few words to a song if someone opens the door and starts singing, or surprise the child that finds it necessary to touch EVERY PIECE OF YOGURT THEY CAN GET THEIR HANDS ON by looking out through the opening in the wall

P.S. I went to the zoo yesterday.  Hence the picture.  I think he's got the right idea